On the day Jessica passed, when I left the hospital for the last time, I remember noticing the sun’s warmth-for the first time in weeks. It had been unusually cold over the winter. But this particular morning, the sun was warm and strong. When I arrived home early afternoon, my son, Robert, was planting lots of colorful flowers. We had friends and family coming around the house and some even took him shopping for the flowers. He planted until the sun went down. I think it was his way of dealing with his sorrow. The new flowers brought color and life back to the garden that day. The frost killed everything colorful and most everything else looked dismal too. For weeks after her services, I spent time every day in the garden planting more flowers. It was where I felt closest to Jessie.so I created Jessie’s Garden. There wasn’t enough ways I could honor her life.
“A rose has bloomed in heaven and although we are apart, she blossoms forth in memories in the gardens of my heart.”
Although the weather was warm and the sun bright most days, still for months, the rose bushes remained without buds and no promise of any new blooms were in sight. Jessica always loved helping me plant flowers and when I wasn’t looking, she would sneak and pick a flower. Of course, it would always be the prettiest one and she loved picking a rose most of all. She knew the roses were extra special because they were so beautiful and delicate…so when she picked one, she’d run to me with the rose in her hand holding it out to show me while saying, “Hurry, Mommy! We need to put it in water before it dies!”
About three months after Jessie died, the first roses began to bloom. I noticed them one Sunday morning through a window in the kitchen. I quickly grabbed my camera and took pictures of the brightest prettiest one…afraid it would be gone too quickly… before anyone had a chance to enjoy its beauty. It was perfect and I wanted it to last forever and to show it to others…then I realized why-it was Mother’s Day-my first Mother’s Day without Jessica. Jessica gave me yet another gift and she purposely waited for Mother’s Day to give it to me. I thought to myself that it was her way of letting me know she was there…and the rose was from my Jessica Rose.
“It is not how long the flower blooms but how beautifully.”
August 21, 2011
